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Naked Pictures? What’s the Big Deal?
April 9, 2009
By Melanie J. Davis, MEd.
Finally, a rational response to an unfortunate incident of “sexting,” which is the practice of taking nude or otherwise sexual photos of oneself and sending them to one or more people.
For those of us over, say, 25, the idea of sexting seems ill-advised because we understand that once a digital image leaves our computers or phones, it’s out of our control. We can imagine the potential professional and personal costs of having very personal and/or compromising photos on public view.
Adolescents and teens, however, rarely take the long view of things. Their weight-room honed muscles look buff? Show ‘em off. Their faux tanned bellies look hot? Show ‘em off. The boyfriend asks for a sexy photo? Snap it and send it.
This week, yet another news story broke about a 14-year-old girl whose boyfriend didn’t keep her sexy photo private. Instead, he distributed it among his fellow students without his girlfriend’s permission. Devastated, she reported the incident, and their middle school principal ordered that the girl’s photo plus any other nude or compromising photos be removed from every cell phone being carried in the school. He also set up a school assembly devoted to the topics of respect for self and others, the use and abuse of digital images, and the risks inherent in distributing sexual photos
My heart breaks for the girl who was betrayed by her boyfriend and who was clearly ignorant of how to protect her best interests while exploring her sexuality. It maddens me that her boyfriend had such poor judgment and so little respect for her that he distributed her photo. At the same time, I applaud their principal for his rational, pragmatic response. He didn’t hysterically call for anyone’s arrest on child pornography charges, as others have in similar cases. Barring legal action beyond the principal’s or the family’s control, this issue will lose its fascination soon, with lessons learned, we hope.
Nearly 20% of all teenagers have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves, according to Sex and Tech: Results from a Survey of Teens and Young Adults, a December 2008 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Adults may look at that percentage with shock, but adolescents and teens aren’t necessarily phased by it. They have a different perspective on images than adults do because they have grown up in such a highly sexualized media age. Many children first see pornographic images before puberty, either because they seek them out online or because they stumble upon them unwillingly online, on cable TV, or flipping through adult magazines and DVDs.
The reputable reports I’ve seen point out that sexting and other forms of adolescent and teen photo sharing are not as serious a problem as the popular media make it out to be. Most teens — 80% of them — are not in the habit of stripping down, snapping their photos and sending out their images. You can help ensure that your children are among that 80% by staying actively involved:
- Talk openly about sexting and its potential ramifications.
- Ask what’s going on in your children’s schools related to sexting.
- Look at the photos on their phones, computers and social media sites like Facebook and MySpace.
- If you find inappropriate or worrisome images, discuss them and have your child delete them while you oversee the file cleanup.
For more tips, visit these helpful websites:
Ideas for kids and parents, from connectsafely.orghttp://www.connectsafely.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1581&Itemid=118/
5 great tips from netsmartz.org
http://ncmec.vo.llnwd.net/o15/downloads/special/Sexting_Prevention.pdf
Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed. is the founder of Honest Exchange LLC, a sexuality consulting practice in Somerville, NJ. She works with teens, adults, professionals, schools and organizations. Melanie is the author of “Sexuality Talking Points: A Guide to Thoughtful Conversation between Parents and Children” and is the co-founder and Director of Education Services for the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness.
