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Dating, Age and Statistics
May 28, 2010
The statistics in this blog post from the OKCupid.com dating site are questionable, but the charts are fun, and I like the author’s conclusions. Interesting reading!
Happy Masturbation Month!
May 27, 2010
How do you plan to celebrate the last weekend of National Masturbation Month?
The majority of people either masturbate or have done it at some time in their life — enough so that a month-long celebration was initiated several years ago. Self-pleasure cannot lead to pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, or heartbreak. The only harm that comes from masturbation is due to the stigma that makes some people feel that they are doing something shameful if they enjoy touching their own bodies. Or the criminal record that may follow masturbating in public, but that’s an entirely different issue.
Recent research has found:
- 70 to 95% of adult men and women masturbate
- 46% of adults over 65 masturbate
- 20% of senior citizens masturbate once a week or more.
Masturbation offers comfort, deepens sleep, enhances sexual confidence, maintains blood flow to the genitals (and lubrication, in women), and exercises pelvic floor muscles. If it leads to orgasm, masturbation has the added impact of offering up to 24-hours of pain relief. Masturbation is also a great way to learn how to build arousal, maintain arousal, and what it takes to experience orgasm. Once you know how to please yourself, you can teach a partner what you like by allowing that person to watch you or by guiding a partner’s hand, mouth or body.
No props or tools are required for masturbation — many people rely on their hands, a powerful shower or bath jet, a pillow for rubbing against, etc. If you enjoy a little extra ooomph, toys are available for both males and females. You can learn more about some of these toys here. For women who have never experienced an orgasm with or without a partner, my brochure, Taking the Mystery Out of Female Orgasm, can be helpful. The brochure can be useful for partners, too.
While National Masturbation Month is a reason to celebrate, don’t let June’s arrival prevent you from continuing your self-explorations — self-pleasure can be a year-round activity.
Hooking Up but Wanting to Date
May 14, 2010
A new study finds that college students actually would like to date, but they actually hook up at about twice as often as they date.
Definitions for “hooking up” range from kissing an acquaintance or stranger to having sexual intercourse. For this study’s purposes, the researchers defined a hookup as sexual intercourse that occurs once, with a stranger or casual acquaintance (as opposed to an on-going relationship).
The undergrads aren’t necessarily hooking up because it feels good. Rather, say the researchers from James Madison University, the students hook up because they think their peers are doing it and enjoying it. And yet, 95% of female students would rather date than hook up, while 77.5% of men prefer dating to hookups.
The researchers posited that dating seems more emotionally risky than hookups, i.e., a broken heart can cut to be very painful, while a drunken sexual encounter can be waived off as a stupid mistake. And most hookups occur when alcohol is involved.
The study was small, but it resonates with the stories my undergraduate students have shared with me. When out partying, both males and females have taken risks they might not take when sober. Condom use isn’t a sure thing when someone is horny and drunk.
Perhaps this study is a good reminder that adolescence lasts until age 24, which means that most college students don’t have the mental maturity to unpack the risks of acting on the basis of peer pressure rather than one’s personal preference.
At-home Chlamydia Test
May 13, 2010
Now you can test yourself for chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease that can lead to pelvic inflamatory disease in women and epedidymitis in men. Chlamydia is one of the fastest-spreading STIs and can lead to sterility if it is left untreated. Quite often, the infection has no symptoms, so testing, whether at home or through a healthcare provider, is important for anyone who is sexually active.
The simple, at-home test is available to residents of Alaska, Denver, CO, Maryland, West Virginia, Philadelphia, PA, Washington, D.C., and several counties in Illinois. To learn more, visit iwantthekit.org
To learn more, visit iwantthekit.org
Boys to Men: A Workshop for Adolescent Boys and Dads/Mentors
May 10, 2010
Boys to Men: A Workshop for Adolescent Boys and Dads/Mentors
Tuesday, June 15, 2010, 7:39-9:30 p.m.
Bedminster Medical Plaza conference room, 1 Robertson Dr., Bedminster, NJ
Facilitated by Melanie Davis, EdD, CSE
Boys ages 10-14 are going through many physical, emotional and social changes. This workshop will prepare them for puberty; help them make healthy decisions aligned with their personal values; and foster communication between sons and dads/mentors. Tuition is $20 per person. Boys must be accompanied by a male parent or mentor. Pre-registration is required. Call 908-722-1632 to register or email Dr. Melanie. This is a New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness program.
About the Speaker: Dr. Davis is a sexuality education consultant, certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. She has a doctorate in Human Sexuality Education and teaches courses/workshops for people across the lifespan. She has taught junior high sexuality education course since 1999 and also teaches undergraduate students. She owns Honest Exchange LLC and co-founded the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness.