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Why Do We Care about Tiger’s Apology?
February 20, 2010
Guest Post by Bill Taverner, MA
Director of The Center for Family Life Education at Planned Parenthood of Greater Northern New Jersey
The news of the day appears to be critical evaluations of an apology given by golf star Tiger Woods for his sexual infidelity. Newspapers and blogs ask, “Is Tiger out of the rough?” as they reflect on his “bad outing,” musing that his wife “still holds the scorecard”. Who knew we could have such fun with golf metaphors? At least these are a bit better than the one I heard over the holidays: What does Tiger want for Christmas? (Ho, ho, ho!)
The bigger question is not how well did Tiger do with his apology, but what does it say about us as a society that we care so much? Why do we allow news about health care and wars – news that truly affects us all – to be pushed to page 12? Why are we so interested in reading about the apology grades given by a “panel of experts”? For that matter, how does one become an “expert” in apologies? Don’t we all have a bit of expertise after having invested so much time in the sordid details of the extramarital affairs of David Letterman, Governor Sanford, and [insert your own favorite celebrity here]. I was going to add more names myself, but there are just too many to list. I Googled the phrase “celebrity affairs,” and the first result was an article at www.foxnews.com titled “Celebrity Affairs to Remember,” documenting 13 pages with all the recent affair developments we’ll want to remember for posterity. There were even some entries I did not know! How did I miss Marilyn Manson’s affair? (“The blogosphere went wild,” according to Fox News.) Country music star Shania Twain’s ex-husband “rocked her world!” Oh the clever metaphors never cease! Then there was Britney Spears, Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts…are you all keeping score?
For some reason, we do care about the details and we want to evaluate the apologies when we hear them. Personally, I don’t know very much about Tiger Woods except that he seems to be an exceptional athlete and I find it very difficult to compete against him with my Wii console. I gave him an “F” for his apology, because this is what I really wanted to hear him say:
“To the members of the media and the listening and viewing public: As nearly everyone knows, I have engaged in extramarital affairs. I am not here today to apologize to you for that. There are some people that do deserve an apology, and a whole lot more than just an apology for that matter, but those individuals are not here today, and I will do my best to make amends privately. I am sorry that you are so interested in the personal details of my life. I realize that I have brought some of that on myself by trading on my positive reputation in return for corporate sponsorship. Perhaps that gives the illusion that I owe the public an apology when I have personal failures. But the truth is I was just selling sneakers, and you were buying them. That does not entitle you to an apology. My wife deserves an apology. So do my kids. So do the women with whom I had dishonest relationships. These are the only people that deserve an apology. I am grateful to have been given an athletic gift that has allowed me to excel in the game of golf. I am also grateful to my fans who praise my achievements. I hope the public will recognize that more than one-third of men and women have cheated in their marriages. I am not proud to be part of that statistic, but I do hope the public will come to realize that, as in your own families, this is a private matter for me and the people I have wronged.”
Now that apology would get an A on my scorecard!
The Hot, Heavy Truth about Aphrodisiacs
February 9, 2010
Will chocolate make someone lust for you? Will oysters give you a stronger, harder erection? Only if you believe they will. Learn more by reading an article in the Courier-News newspaper, which includes my input.
Fake Website Claims to ID People with STIs
January 30, 2010
An article in the Journal of Sexually Transmitted Diseases warns against a fake website claiming to list the names of people with sexually transmitted infections. The site, named whosgotwhat.com, claims to be a national database of names that is searchable for a fee. If your name is on the list, you can pay $20 to have it removed.
Due to HPPA patient privacy laws, among other regulations, the names of persons with any kind of illness are kept confidential. If that weren’t enough to identify the site as fake, the acceptance of $20 to remove a name should be a tip-off. This is simply a scam designed to gather credit card information and play on the fears of people who have or who are falsely identified as having sexually transmitted infections. Don’t fall for the scam.
For more youthful genitals….
January 22, 2010
I thought I’d heard the end penultimate idea in youth-salvaging plastic surgery when the”Dr. 90210″ TV show fatured a proceedure that involved injecting a woman’s back fat into her labia majora. Supposedly, age-related thinning in that area was considered unacceptable. But lo and behold, here comes another procedure — dying the vulvar skin (specifically the labia minora, or “little lips”) any of four shades of pink for a younger look.
You can read the full article here, but seriously, has it come to this? Women are supposed to dye their genitals pink to appear more youthful and sexually attractive? I don’t see anyone suggesting that men have surgery to lift their aging testicles back to their youthful place.
Let’s cut ourselves some slack. We’re all aging from the moment we’re born, and we’re all sexual beings from birth to death. Bodies aren’t the same when we’re 20 as when we’re older, but the sex can be better because with age comes a stronger sense of self and greater sexual experience. Throw away the labia dye and the assumption that younger is better. Appreciate yourself and your partner at any age.
Sex & Religion — Perfect Together?
January 17, 2010
A University of Waterloo study recently found that stress and sex are two reasons people turn to religion. You can read the complete story here, but in a nutshell, the researchers gave study participants photos to look at prior to answering questions. When men and women saw photos of people who might be competition on the dating scene, the participants reported greater ties to religious beliefs — especially those that reinforce monogamous relationships. They also reported feeling stronger religious ties when they saw anxiety-causing photos (think slimy worms and gross things).
This isn’t to say that non-religious folks aren’t interested in partnering up, by the way. They just make connections between relationships and religiosity in a different way. The other thing to remember about research studies is that they are always limited by both the thinking of the researchers and the participants. For example, as a gardener, my heart gets all warm and fuzzy when I see worms because I know they’re churning through my soil and saving me work. No anxiety, and, I assume, no impact on my religiosity.