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Sex Ed at the Singer’s House
May 22, 2009
Today I’m pleased to welcome to this blog popular humorist Jen Singer, founder of mommasaid.net and author of “Stop Second Guessing Yourself–The Toddler Years” and “14 Hours ’til Bedtime.”
Melanie wants me to talk about sex.
Blush.
I’ve got to admit, the whole thing makes me feel uncomfortable. I usually let her do the “dirty talk” on my web site. I’m there for the funny. Also, the programming.
As a result, I have been avoiding the nice little Q & A she sent to me weeks ago. But she’s been kind enough to let me drop by her blog, so I figured I’d better attempt to answer her questions about – gasp – sex. Here goes:
Q: When did you start talking to your boys about sex, and what triggered that first conversation?
When my neighbor was pregnant with her fourth child, my older son, who was about six, asked me, “How is the baby going to come out?” So I explained vaginal births and C-sections. And then I waited and held my breath.
“How did it get in there?” he asked. I gave him the straight-forward mechanics of what a Mommy and a Daddy do, and he seemed to ponder it carefully. Then he said, “Oh,” and walked away.
I have since followed up with more information as my kids, now 12 and 10, got older and more mature. Better to find out from me than on the school bus.
Q: What differences have you noticed in the way that you and your husband address in-home sex education?
If he has approached it, I wouldn’t know about it. There are some things men need to keep among men.
Q. Have you overheard your boys talking about sexuality topics, and if so, is their information correct?
Only a mother of girls would ask that question. Boys don’t talk to their mothers about much of anything except for “When’s dinner” and “Where are my cleats?”
Q: How is the in-home sex ed you provide different or similar to what or how you learned about sex as a child?
My mom was great about ongoing talks, so that’s what I’m doing. There’s no one “The Talk” here, as there wasn’t when I was growing up.
My older son is about to have the health class sex ed video. I will follow up with him after he sees it. I also gave him a pamphlet about body changes and asked my husband to discuss it with him.
Q: What are the primary sexual values and/or lessons you and your husband are trying to share with your sons?
Among the many things we’re discussing here, I think it’s important to tell boys that they can say “no” to aggressive girls. That’s changed from when I was a teen.
Q: Are any sexuality topics off limits?
I hope I don’t have to find out. See above about blushing.
