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Are You Teaching Your Kids to Bully?
December 5, 2011
If you aren’t actively talking with your children about accepting themselves and others, and if you aren’t instilling the message that they should have compassion for themselves and people who differ from them, then you may be implying that it’s OK to bully. Watch this video with your kids. They may see themselves, you may see them in a new light, or you both may see how important it is to protect people from harm.
Sex Ed and Deaf Kids
December 3, 2011
I became a sex educator between 9th and 10th grade, when I my summer job was to accompany a deaf girl around to her summer school classes. I took sign language lessons by videotape every morning and learned enough signs to supplement what she could understand by lip reading. There were about 5 student pairs like ours in a program designed to integrate deaf kids into classes filled with kids with normal hearing.
One weekend, the entire summer school class took a weekend field trip, and my partner and I had a lot of time on the bus and during a museum sleepover to talk about non-school stuff. Our talk turned to boys, dating, and eventually, to sex. I was dumbfounded by her lack of knowledge until I remembered one of my mother’s comments that deaf people miss out on much of the day-to-day learning that occurs through background noise, innuendo, jokes, etc. My partner said that she had been told that sex involved males and females, but she wasn’t sure about the particulars. Knowing that she had a crush on a boy in the summer school, I took it upon my 14-year-old self to explain sexual intercourse to her, including the risks of unintended pregnancy. Her signs and facial expressions let me know she was amazed by this new information.
Think about the first dirty joke you heard and how it opened your eyes to a world of sexual possibilities. Consider the sexual innuendo passed poolside or at the Shore, when comments were made about people dressed in next to nothing. Now, imagine how much your child may be missing by not hearing the jokes and being able to participate in the discourse.
Parents of children with disabilities related to physical functioning, intellectual development or emotional development often incorrectly assume their children are naive and asexual or too preoccupied with other issues to develop crushes or have sexual feelings. It is essential to realize that all children are sexual beings, with interests, concerns, urges and needs. They have a right to know what’s going on with their changing bodies during puberty, and they have a right to learn how to be sexually expressive without compromising their sexual health. In addition, they need to know that as individuals with special needs, they are at greater risk for being taken advantage of and for being sexually abused. Withholding information from them is not kind; indeed, it is cruel.
If you’d like to learn how to implement deaf-friendly sexuality education in your school or organization in Pennsylvania, click here. The information can be useful to parents and educators in other regions, too. Click here for a list of video and other resources compiled by a deaf editor for About.com. The American School Health Association offers this bill of rights related to sexuality education for special needs students.
All children deserve to know what’s up sexually. Including your children.