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Taking “Getting Dirty” to a New Level
September 18, 2009
A couple visiting London from Wichita, Kansas was robbed while having sex in a trash bin. They recovered their stolen jewelry, wallets and shoes when the robbers were apprehended after committing the crime.
It’s not necessary to resort to dumpster diving to have hot, “dirty” sex. You can avoid the risk of hepatitis and rat bites by creating the illusion of that nearly public, urgent sex even if you’re in a hotel room or at home.
–Set the stage, i.e., see what props you may want handy. Energetic music? Chair? Stilettos?
–Tell your partner that you’re in the mood to ravish and be ravished in return. If your partner agrees to the fantasy…
–Keep at least some of your clothes on, ideally items you’re not worried about wrinkling (unless that limitation turns you on).
–Try body positions that would work in cramped quarters, i.e., up against a door or wall, leaning over a chair or bed, having one partner straddle the other on a chair, etc.
–If the Dirty Dumpster Look appeals to you, smear each other with chocolate body paint, whipped cream, or even extra virgin olive oil. Another sexologist suggested recently that couples spread peanut butter (if you aren’t allergic) on sexual pleasure points because the stick-to-it quality of PB ensures that a partner uses a lot of tongue to remove every last bit.
You can write your own script from here. Fantasy is an important part of many people’s sex lives — there’s no need to censure imagination, and as long as your partner consents, there’s no need to censure your behavior.
Except for the nearly public sex in a London dumpster. That probably wasn’t the best idea.
Guest Blog: Bring Back the Mystery
September 10, 2009
By Janet Cargill
What happened to the idea of a bit of mystery? You know the kind I am thinking of…My grandmother Mamie O’Neill was the gatekeeper for preserving the sense of mystery she felt was essential for all young women. Mamie always had a hanky or two tucked away in the pocket of her house dress* at the ready to put between our blossoming breasts if they were even slightly exposed. I can still hear her say, “Cover your separation.” I think she thought using the word cleavage was just too risqué.
In her day, showing just a hint of the curve of your ankle was enough to make the young men swoon. A bare calf revealed when the wind caught your skirt would send your suitor over the top. Imagine how easy if was to capture a young man’s fancy…good ankles and a well-turned calf.
Recently while shopping for “appropriate clothing” for a young woman in high school, I could picture Mamie passing out hankies by the dozens to all the young ladies in the fitting rooms. On one of the racks in the store we were trying to shop in, I saw garments that were supposed to be skirts; I thought they were a collection of wide belts!
That’s when it hit me. Today’s fashions for young women have it all wrong…they’ve stolen the mystery, the special allure of just a hint of the forbidden. The silky fabric that feels so soft to the touch, the sway of a skirt against your leg when you walk. The way fitted clothes hug and enhance the curves of your body. Now that’s the mystery that has real appeal!
Young women today are being sold a bill of goods that robs them of their dignity, their intelligence and their sense of self worth. With so much to look at there really is nothing left to see. People make assumptions about a young woman without taking the time to get to know her and appreciate her gifts and talents.
Let’s teach our daughters, granddaughters and great granddaughters the lessons from Mamie O’Neill’s day and the lessons we learned from the Women’s Movement. Women are so much more than a collection of body parts that have been lured by the fashion gurus and the media into the shortest, skimpiest, and tightest fashions ever.
We are strong, capable women who have the right to be respected because we know our value and respect ourselves. We can influence young women to dress fashionably in clothing that compliment their looks and in styles that allow others to see who they really are.
* House dress – the original “infit” (something only to be worn in and around the house, as opposed to an “outfit” that can leave the house).
This post comes courtesy of Janet Cargill, of J. Cargill Image Consulting. Janet is the author of “Look DAMN Good — At Your Age, With Your Body, and On Your Budget,” and she is a consultant and motivational speaker.
Lingerie redeux?
September 4, 2009
“Babe, you look hot in that corset…like you always do.” Ack. Talk about ruining the mood. There you are, trying to look alluring, and your partner’s thinking, “Same old, same old.” What to do, to prevent a lingerie redeux? Visit MyClothingCalendar.com, a FREE online clothing journal and management tool.
The site was created to help people track professional and special-occasion wardrobes so their contacts don’t see them in the same outfit time and time again. But there’s no reason you can’t use it to track who saw you in which skivvies, flannel, g-strings, Latex or leather (hey, I haven’t a clue what you think is sexy).
Once you register, you can access your personal calendar, click on a specific date, and easily enter what you wore and who you saw. Before you see that person next time, you can check what you wore for earlier encounters.
Currently, the site has no application that tracks what you DID when you wore a particular piece of clothing, but you can upload a photo of each outfit or individual piece of attire. And, you can add clothing categories (Boots, garters, blindfolds, baby dolls, cuffs…)
It’s free to register at MyClothingCalendar.com, so login and stop worrying about boring your lover with the same old, same old intimate wear.
When Can We Bang? Handy Flowchart Has Answers
September 3, 2009
Sexologist Timaree Schmit puts a reasoned twist on the old “third date sex” rule, and she does it with a good-natured flowchart that’ll give you some things to take into consideration before you hop into the sack.