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Sexy and Pregnant? Sure!
August 30, 2009
Pregnant women needn’t hide their sexy side just because their bellies are expanding; indeed, many women feel sexier because they are pregnant. Sure, there are periods of nausea and exhaustion for many women, but also, a woman’s blood is circulating more, her body becomes more voluptuous, her sexual organs are engorged — it’s a great time to enjoy female sensuality in a new way.
Alas, pregnancy lingerie and undergarments too often fall into the “granny panties” category, making women feel frumpy. To the rescue comes a company called Hot Milk Lingerie, which aims to bring the sexy back! Enjoy!
A Dinner Table Tradition Continues
August 28, 2009
The conversation at my family dinner table tonight was an uproariously funny mix of myth-versus-fact as we debated a topic related to sex. Afterward, four things struck me about the conversation:
1) It wouldn’t have taken place unless we made a concerted effort to be in the same place at the same time with the TV and cell phones off;
2) It changed the mood in the house from harried to happy;
3) In most houses, such a conversation would never take place due to the nature of the topic;
4) The conversation reminded me of those I heard when I was growing up.
I grew up in a home where sexuality was respected as an important part of life, but one that could also be laughed about. I’ll never forget the day Mom gave us a blurb torn from Cosmopolitan magazine wherein the “perfect” breast was described as one that was able to fit into a champagne glass. Thank goodness our parents’ champagne glasses were martini-shaped rather than flute-shaped, given the speed with which we giggled and ran to the china cabinet to see if we measured up. Or the day our parents gave us the first issue of Playgirl and allowed us to post Burt Reynold’s naked (but not explicit) photo in our bathroom. Burt watched over the toilet for years, catching our friends and relatives by surprise.
Families have differing levels of comfort with discussing sex, and the family I grew up in and my family today may have an uncommon level of comfort discussing sex. But I hope not. I hope a lot of families are talking about and laughing about sexuality because they are comfortable with it as a joyful part of human nature.
Love in the Time of Colic — Book Review
August 27, 2009
My review of “Love in the Time of Colic,” appears in the September issue of Contemporary Sexuality. The book is for new parents trying to get their sexual groove back. To read the review, click here.
Talking to Your Doctor about Sex
August 25, 2009
One of the physicians who participated in my doctoral research study on patient sexuality education said there was never a reason to discuss sexuality with his patients. He is an anesthesiologist.
If his duties are limited to putting people to sleep for surgery, he’s right. But many anesthesiologists also treat patients with chronic pain, and these patients’ sexual desire and activity should be discussed.
Sex is good for your health, whether you engage it in by yourself or with a partner. An orgasm will increase blood circulation, boost the hormones that make you feel good, temporarily relieve pain, exercise your muscles, and help you sleep. But has any doctor ever mentioned these great benefits to you?
Odds are good that at some point in your life, you’ll need to discuss a medication, treatment or surgical option with your physician. According to the early results of my study, your physician will be too pressed for time to do more than discuss your primary complaint. It will be up to you to ask about the possible sexual side effects of your treatment and to demand that your concerns are addressed.
You and your physician may decide that the sexual side effects pale in comparison to the benefits you’ll gain by treatment. Then again, you might be able to try alternative treatments with fewer known side effects.
If you’re embarrassed to bring up the subject, hand this post to your physician. It’ll break the ice and help you start communicating more effectively about your sexual health.
Back to School, Back to Sex
August 25, 2009
Upon starting ninth grade, a teen told her mom, “The minute you walk into high school, all people talk about is sex — who’s having it, what they’re doing, and who they’re doing it with.”
Sex talk in school usually starts before high school, though. A kindergarten teacher said one of her male students claimed, “I know how people do sex,” before he proceeded to thrust his hips backward and forward. Many years ago, my daughter was concerned when fellow sixth-grade girls complained about their “unbelievably painful period cramps.” And it continues…A college freshman once told me, “Now I get the statistics on STIs (sexually transmitted infections) — I see people in my dorm sleeping with one person one night and another the next.”
The start of the semester is a good time to think about how you may have prepared your child, no matter what age, for the sex talk that he or she will hear on the bus, the playground, the lunchroom, the halls, the locker rooms, and the dorm rooms.
Think about the messages you want your child to hear about self-respect and respect for others, about what love and caring are, about what sex is, and about how love and care can be expressed without sexual activity.
As your child matures, provide developmentally-appropriate information about sexual health care (from washing folds and creases to managing menstruation and unexpected erections to using contraceptives to protect against STIs and pregnancy.)
If you think your teen or college-age child is, or is considering becoming, sexually active, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts about the pros and cons. Try not to lecture, and listen non-judgmentally to your child’s opinions, even if you disagree. You can only protect your child’s health if you keep the lines of communication open.