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Intimacy, Sexuality, and Aging Conference — 4/23, Widener University, Chester PA
April 10, 2009
Intimacy, Sexuality & Aging: What Every Professional Needs to Know
Join social work, therapy, sexuality and other professionals for a daylong conference on intimacy, sexuality and aging on Thursday, April 23, at Widener University in Chester, PA.
“By 2030, There will be 71 million American older adults accounting for roughly 20% of the U.S. population.” ~ Centers for Disease Control, 2007
The conference will run from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. and will feature Peggy Brick, a lifespan sexuality educator and co-author of Older, Wiser & Sexually Smarter, giving a keynote on “The JOY of Sexuality in Mid and Later Life: Contemporary Realities and Our Professional Responsibilities.”
This conference is co-sponsored by Widener Univeristy Center for Social Work Education and Center for Education Graduate Programs in Human Sexuality; The Consortium on Sexuality and Aging; the John A. Hartford Foundation; and the New York Academy of Medicine Social Work Leadership Institute.
Conference Workshop Topics & Presenters
Sexual Intimacy Through the Life Cycle — Robert Selverstone, Ph.D. — Participants will learn techniques for use with clients which will encourage them to take safe risks in self-disclosure as a critical factor in developing interpersonal intimacy and develop a greater sense of the natural progression of life cycles changes.
The Impact of Culture and History on the Sexuality of Elderly African Americans — John Groce, MSW, Adjunct Faculty, Widener University –Participants will explore African American history and culture in order to identify implications for practice with older African Americans as it relates to sexuality, intimacy and relationships.
Sex Therapy: Developing Clinical Skills — Constance M. Bowes, M.A., M.S., Private Practice, Malvern, PA–Participants will enhance their clinical skills in counseling clients in matters of sexuality; developed for professional social workers, health care counselors, therapists, counseling professionals and all those interested in the growing profession.
Senior Pride: Meeting the Needs of LGBT Seniors — Al Vernacchio, M.S.Ed., Friends’ Central School, Wynnewood, PA –Participants will reflect on how growing old affects people of different sexual orientations, examine their own attitudes and values regarding same sex relationships, and identify resources for senior gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) individuals.
Every Body Deserves Respect: Love the Skin You’re In! — Ashley Mader, MSW/M.Ed. Candidate –Participants will examine the messages about beauty and aging received from the media, explore the evolution of beauty standards in the United States, and assess how attitudes about one’s body can impact one’s sexuality.
Sexuality Issues for Nurses and Other Health Care Professionals — Carole Adamsbaum, RN, MA, ACSE, Sexuality Educator –Participants will review and explore the unique role of health care professionals as sexuality educators and counselors.
Flirting After Fifty — Barbara Bellman, Author, Brand Strategist, Motivational Speaker — Participants will discuss areas surrounding what women and men really want, what works and what doesn’t in flirting and the difference in terms of “older” attraction, seduction, and romance.
Erotic Toys: New Ways to Enjoy & Enhance Sexuality — Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed., Honest Exchange LLC & NJ Center for Sexual Wellness — Participants will identify ways that older adults can use sexual aids to support their sexuality, evaluate different types of sexual aids and their uses, and understand how to locate and talk about sexual aids more comfortably.
Looking at Sex Addiction in Older Adults — John Giugliano, Ph.D., LCSW, Assistant Professor, Widener University –Participants will look at the concept of out-of-control sexual behavior in older adults, discuss the symptoms and functions of problematic sexual behaviors, and compare different theoretical models in order to understand these behaviors from various perspectives.
Closing Remarks on Sexuality and Aging Education: Today and the Future — Betsy Crane, Ph.D., Widener University, Professor and Director of Graduate Programs in Human Sexuality
Conference Objectives:
- Recognize the trends and issues in sexuality and aging in the U S.
- Examine the myths and professional biases related to normal sexual changes in aging.
- Develop clinical approaches for enhancing healthy sexual behaviors and addressing sexual difficulties in older adulthood.
- Foster ways for older adults to engage in productive behaviors related to intimacy and sexuality.
- Understand how growing older affects people of different sexual, racial, and cultural orientations.
For the brochure and registration form, click here http://honestexchange.com/wp-admin/media.php?action=edit&attachment_id=468
Or, download, print and mail the form below by April 15. Or, call 610-499-1153, or email SocialWork@widener.edu
REGISTRATION FORM
Intimacy, Sexuality, and Aging
Deadline for registration is April 15, 2009
Name
Organization/Position
Address
City State Zip
Phone, Email
Credits (check all that apply):
Social Work CEU Credits
Psychology CE Credits
AASECT CE Credits
Fee: $75 Professional; $25 Student Total Enclosed:
Fees are non-refundable after April 20, 2009
Make checks payable to: Widener University
Mail registration form & fee no later than April 15 to:
Center for Social Work Education, Widener University
One University Place, Chester, PA 19013
Phone: 610-499-1153 Fax: 610-499-4617
Email: SocialWork@widener.edu
Six CEU or CE credits will be offered to participants completing the full
day of workshop offerings and evaluation forms. The Center for Social
Work Education is approved by the Pennsylvania State Board of Social
Workers, Marriage and Family Therapists, and Professional Counselors
to offer continuing education credits. The Institute for Graduate Clinical
Psychology, Widener University, is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapist (AASECT) and is approved for 4 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward
AASECT certification and renewal of certification. Widener University
maintains responsibility for the program and its contents.
Naked Pictures? What’s the Big Deal?
April 9, 2009
By Melanie J. Davis, MEd.
Finally, a rational response to an unfortunate incident of “sexting,” which is the practice of taking nude or otherwise sexual photos of oneself and sending them to one or more people.
For those of us over, say, 25, the idea of sexting seems ill-advised because we understand that once a digital image leaves our computers or phones, it’s out of our control. We can imagine the potential professional and personal costs of having very personal and/or compromising photos on public view.
Adolescents and teens, however, rarely take the long view of things. Their weight-room honed muscles look buff? Show ‘em off. Their faux tanned bellies look hot? Show ‘em off. The boyfriend asks for a sexy photo? Snap it and send it.
This week, yet another news story broke about a 14-year-old girl whose boyfriend didn’t keep her sexy photo private. Instead, he distributed it among his fellow students without his girlfriend’s permission. Devastated, she reported the incident, and their middle school principal ordered that the girl’s photo plus any other nude or compromising photos be removed from every cell phone being carried in the school. He also set up a school assembly devoted to the topics of respect for self and others, the use and abuse of digital images, and the risks inherent in distributing sexual photos
My heart breaks for the girl who was betrayed by her boyfriend and who was clearly ignorant of how to protect her best interests while exploring her sexuality. It maddens me that her boyfriend had such poor judgment and so little respect for her that he distributed her photo. At the same time, I applaud their principal for his rational, pragmatic response. He didn’t hysterically call for anyone’s arrest on child pornography charges, as others have in similar cases. Barring legal action beyond the principal’s or the family’s control, this issue will lose its fascination soon, with lessons learned, we hope.
Nearly 20% of all teenagers have sent or posted nude or semi-nude pictures of themselves, according to Sex and Tech: Results from a Survey of Teens and Young Adults, a December 2008 survey conducted by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. Adults may look at that percentage with shock, but adolescents and teens aren’t necessarily phased by it. They have a different perspective on images than adults do because they have grown up in such a highly sexualized media age. Many children first see pornographic images before puberty, either because they seek them out online or because they stumble upon them unwillingly online, on cable TV, or flipping through adult magazines and DVDs.
The reputable reports I’ve seen point out that sexting and other forms of adolescent and teen photo sharing are not as serious a problem as the popular media make it out to be. Most teens — 80% of them — are not in the habit of stripping down, snapping their photos and sending out their images. You can help ensure that your children are among that 80% by staying actively involved:
- Talk openly about sexting and its potential ramifications.
- Ask what’s going on in your children’s schools related to sexting.
- Look at the photos on their phones, computers and social media sites like Facebook and MySpace.
- If you find inappropriate or worrisome images, discuss them and have your child delete them while you oversee the file cleanup.
For more tips, visit these helpful websites:
Ideas for kids and parents, from connectsafely.orghttp://www.connectsafely.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1581&Itemid=118/
5 great tips from netsmartz.org
http://ncmec.vo.llnwd.net/o15/downloads/special/Sexting_Prevention.pdf
Melanie J. Davis, M.Ed. is the founder of Honest Exchange LLC, a sexuality consulting practice in Somerville, NJ. She works with teens, adults, professionals, schools and organizations. Melanie is the author of “Sexuality Talking Points: A Guide to Thoughtful Conversation between Parents and Children” and is the co-founder and Director of Education Services for the New Jersey Center for Sexual Wellness.
Taking Manners to the Prom
April 9, 2009
By Melanie J. Davis, MEd.
Dance cards and white gloves may be gone, but the etiquette of social dance is still in style. Gracious behavior can make prom night even more memorable.
Dance floor manners follow codes of behavior established long ago in Europe, says Peter Vaco, director of Indigo Ballroom, in Somerville. A native of Slovakia, Vaco has danced competitively and professionally in Europe and the United States for more than 20 years.
“Lately, there has been a lack of manners at dances because young people think the rules are repressive. In reality, the rules are elegant and teach young men and women how to behave in a relationship,” says Vaco.
Dance etiquette can help in other situations also, he says. The straight posture required for ballroom dance lends an air of confidence, and good manners can impress everyone from peers to potential employers.
“In dance clubs, people have a hard time approaching each other because they don’t know the rules. Ballroom dance rules teach people how to remove the barriers, which is good because dancing brings people together,” says Vaco. The basic principle of dance etiquette is respect. Vaco describes dancing as a game between the man, who invites the woman to dance and is the leader on the floor, and the woman, who follows his lead. Creative partners of the same or different genders can play with which partner takes the lead.
“That sounds funny to feminists, but it’s a healthy way to create respect and a 50-50 relationship. No one goes for a free ride when they dance as equal partners,” says Vaco.
Every high school has its own prom customs, but good manners will impress people in any environment. Vaco gives the following advice for male and female dancers, which also apply to couples of same gender. The rules apply to proms, clubs, weddings and other social occasions.
“To start, the man should always seat the woman so she can enjoy the view of the whole room. When the man sits with his back to the room, he’s saying that he is only interested in looking at his date, not at the other women in the room,” says Vaco.
To ask a woman to dance, the man should approach her and ask, “May I dance with you?” while extending his hand. The woman should accept by putting her hand in her partner’s and walk with him onto the dance floor. Neither partner should walk in front unless the couple must pass through a door or go upstairs to reach the dance floor.
“If they go through a door, the man should go first so he can open the door. On stairs, man goes first so can give her a helping hand and avoid looking up her skirt,” says Vaco. When the song ends, the man may bow slightly in front of the woman to show respect, and she should nod her head to him, Vaco says.
“The man should then take the woman’s arm and lead her back to her chair, which puts closure on the dance. A nice touch is for the man to pull out the woman’s chair so she can sit down at her table,” he says. Some couples prefer to dance only with their date, while others happily dance with other partners, including those who have attended the event solo.
“In dance society, you don’t have to be someone’s boyfriend to dance with her. You can dance several dances together and then say, ‘Thank you very much for dancing with me’ before returning her to her table,” says Vaco. It may once have been permissible for a man to cut in and replace a man on the dance floor, but Vaco says that’s a good way to start a conflict on the floor today. He suggests waiting until a song ends to request a dance with someone else’s partner.
“When the song ends, you can say to the guy, ‘I see that you are wonderful dancers. Do you mind if I dance with your date?’ and he should be flattered,” says Vaco. When dancing, women should leave their evening bags on a chair or bring a very small purse they can easily hold on the dance floor. At some proms, tradition allows women to kick off their high heels and dance in socks, but Vaco suggests a more tasteful alternative: comfortable shoes.
“In a ballroom that’s very fancy, you don’t take your shoes off no matter how free you feel about yourself. For a proper ballroom dance, you wear shoes designed for dancing,” he says. The best dance shoes have suede soles that glide easily on the floor without slipping. Shoe repair shops can add suede soles to regular shoes for roughly $20.